By Anne Maslanka
Christmas has always been special to me and my siblings, mainly because my mom, Mary, loved Christmas. She prepared all year long to make Christmas the very best for us. Each year as Christmas came to an end, she would ask, “Did you have a good Christmas, honey?”
Christmas 2011 was almost no different except it was then that I found out I was pregnant with my first child. Of course, many mothers are overjoyed to learn they are pregnant, but I was particularly grateful because I felt like I was racing against time – the time my mother, who had lung cancer that spread to her brain, had left to meet my baby.
A week before Christmas, my husband and I found out we were going to have a baby, so we decided to tell our families at our Christmas gathering. What a perfect gift during a trying time! On Christmas Eve morning, we revealed our exciting news by giving them each a present: my dad received a bun and my mom a toy oven. My mom figured it out immediately.
Shortly after Christmas, we went in for our first ultrasound where we learned the baby did not have a heartbeat. I had a D&C, and my mom – as moms do, sick or not – took care of me. As I rested in bed the night of the procedure, my mom played with my hair and promised me she would meet my children. Losing the baby was heartbreaking, but the thought of my mom not knowing my children was even more devastating. My mom understood this even though I never said it aloud.
My mother passed away on March 12, 2012 without having the opportunity to meet my babies. Despite the heartache, my husband and I continued to try to get pregnant. On May 21, one day after my mom’s birthday, we found out we were pregnant and due at the end of January. The news was bittersweet; I was thrilled to be pregnant but sad my mom was not there. My three sisters and brother are all older than I am and already have children, so they did everything they could to make my pregnancy special even though my mom was not there to accompany me on such a precious journey.
When Christmas came around that year, we dreaded spending the time without the person who had made it so special for us for our whole lives. On Christmas Eve morning, after talking and crying with my dad and siblings, my husband encouraged me to get out of bed, pull myself together, and meet his parents for lunch. While at lunch, I felt a little funny, so I got up to head to the bathroom. As I stood up, my water broke, and I mean BROKE, soaking my clothes. There was no question we were going to have our baby on Christmas Eve…five weeks early. Mom.
Shortly after we arrived to the hospital, my entire family joined us, excited and in much better spirits than when I left that morning. Mom. Every nurse I had that day and night had also lost someone, they all knew how hard Christmas is without a loved one, and they all recognized this was something special. Mom. We did not know what we were having, but we did have names selected.
Our little girl was born via C-section Christmas Eve evening. She was taken to the NICU because she was having difficulty breathing. The whole time I knew she was going to be okay; after all, she had a special angel watching over her. Mom. Finally, after I had recovered from surgery, I was wheeled in to see my Mary. As she was placed in my arms for the first time, I glanced up at the clock to see it was 12:00am. Mom. As always, my mom made sure our Christmas was special. “Yes, Mom. I had a Mary Christmas.”
And as promised, Mom has “met” my daughter. This is evident by Mary’s uncanny behavior in relation to her Gaga: she talks to her, points to her pictures, and says “Gaga.” Recently, I lost another baby. The day we found out, my husband was in the kitchen as Mary played on the floor. I expressed to him how sad I was to experience another miscarriage but this time without my mom to take care of me. Minutes later, Mary (who is 21 months old now) smiled, pointed and looked upward, and said “Gaga.” Mom.
I wanted to add a special thanks to my dear friend Brianna Vinup, who helped me write my story.
I am so sorry to hear about your losses, but it sounds like your mom is definitely there looking out for you from above.
Thank you so much!!! I believe she is for sure watching out for us!!! Thank you for taking time to read our story:)
Such a beautiful story – your daughter is obviously looked after by your mom. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother – and how hard that must be, but it’s clear her memory/spirt are with you daily through your daughter.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story…it means so much to me to share it and yes, I believe my mom continues to watch out for us!!!
what an amazing story. my dad is very sick and the thought of him no longer being with us is devastating. so happy your daughter was born on Christmas – no longer a sad time but a very happy time for you.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad…I will say prayers for him!! Thank you for taking the time to read our story:) Yes, Christmas is now a very exciting time of year:) I just know my mom couldn’t stand the thought of us being sad on Christmas:)
what a great story! So sorry to hear about the loss of your first baby, but amazing your Mom was able to ‘meet’ her. Congrats!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story:) Thank you!
I am so sorry to read your story, it’s so heart-breaking. It’s lovely that your daughter celebrates her birthday on Christmas and you have something to celebrate now. I think your mother definitely watches over your daughter <3
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! Yes, Mary makes Christmas so much fun now:)
I am sorry about your losses. Thank you for sharing your heart with your readers.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story:)
Thanks so much for sharing this amazing story. I’m so sorry about your losses but always know that your mom is proud of you and always looking over you, your husband and Mary <3
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! Yes, I agree, she is always watching over us!!! Thank you for taking the time to read our story:)
Wow, that had to be difficult to write. I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s a sad, yet beautiful story of love, loss, and living.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story, yes, it was hard to write but I also love telling Mary’s story, it makes me remember that my mom is always with me:) Thank you so much for your kind words!
Such a touching tribute to your mom. Loss is so tough, especially as we enter the holiday season and wish to have our loved ones with us.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story!!!! Very bittersweet time of year for us and everyone who has lost someone!!!
I am so sorry about your losses, but what a beautiful story about your “Mary” Christmas. Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful woman.
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! Yes, my mom was amazing!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story:)
Man, what a touching story. I’m sorry for your losses, but you’ve found grace and beauty in the lovely blessing of family that you have. This time of year is hard for many people. Mr. Mashed Up’s dad died just before Christmas, as did my uncle. It can be a bittersweet time of year.
I am so very sorry for your losses…yes this time of year can be so very bitter sweet, one minute I am so excited and happy and the next minute I am crying!!!! Wishing you a peaceful holiday season!! Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story!!!
That was such a heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart. God bless you and your family.
Thank you so very much for your kind words!!!! This story is a huge piece of my heart and it makes me happy that I was able to share it!!!! Thank you for taking the time to read our story!!!
Ong! So sorry to hear about your loss 🙁 such a great post though! Thanks for sharing 😉
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story!!!
Sorry to hear about your mum and your miscarriages i can not even imagine. Thanks for sharing your story with us. This time of year must be hard for you and family, take comfort in knowing your mum is watching over you and your babies above.
Thank you so very much for your kind words and for taking time to read our story!!! Yes, this time of year can be very bitter sweet but I know my mom is with us everyday:) Thank you again!!!
Oh my…how beautiful and tragic all at the same time. What a lovely tribute to your mom. Your daughter will always have a wonderful angel
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read our story. Yes, Mary has a very special angel:) Thank you!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your losses. It must be very painful, but I’m sure you’ll come out to become a stronger person out of this. You know what they say, we are never given challenges that we cannot handle. May you always strong and full of love.
Thank you so much for your kind words, yes, I have to say that is something I do take away from all of this, strength…you never know how much strength you really have until something like this happens!! Thank you very much for taking the time to read our story!!!
Wow such a powerful story, my daughter was born 10 weeks early thought she would not make it.x
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! Wow 10 weeks, yes that would be very scary!!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story!