Remembering a Good Man : Saying Goodbye to a Dad, a Grandpa, My FIL

My father in law passed away. In a way, I knew it was coming, but I thought we had some time. Years, but we only got one. Here’s a little back story. My father in law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about a little over a year ago. Before that year, he was living in his home. Still growing summer gardens and remember who we all were. Last year, my in-laws sold their home. He moved in memory care after been in assisted living with my MIL for only a few months. They have then moved into a facility 5 minutes away from our family. This is where I applied for a job when I had the chance.

Working in a nursing home was never in my plan if I’m being honest. But God was connecting the dots as I soon find out. God made it where, I would have a job close to home, with company that made the best offer that was close to my family both my in laws and my kids and husband.

The last 4 weeks I worked on the unit he lived on. I didn’t know if I could do this but God made the way for me in my heart. So, as the last days and weeks leading up to May 5th I got to see him. I got the chance to tell my husband what was going on with him and how he was doing. That it was time to come see him. It was interesting to take care of a man that I knew for 16 years. He was not the same man I knew on the memory care unit. Every time, I worked he never once knew who I was.

Looking back, I remember wondering if he liked me when I first met him. The jiggers you get meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time and there after. Would smile in face and tell Andy the truth that they didn’t like him dating a black girl. Yes, this has happened before. I don’t remember the point when I knew they cared for me. But I knew it was genuine when he would make his jokes. He was usually serious alot.

When I had twins I knew he loved them. How his face would light up to see my kids, his grandkids. When they gave him a hug. How he would give them a kiss on the cheek. He wasn’t very affection. I didn’t see that man the last few weeks of his life but I knew that man. He had overcome alot in his lifetime – an abusive father, being on his own in his teens, being in the war, raising a family. 

I am glad that I had the chance to get to know him as my father in law. Grateful that my kids had a caring grandpa in their lives. I think that is what will stand out the most to me. He will be missed and may he rest in peace.

Last picture with the kids in 2017