My Struggle with My Daughter’s Biracial Hair

I admit it, I struggle with my daughter’s biracial hair. It hasn’t always been this way. When she was born, she had a head full of jet black straight hair. I remember her being laid on my chest and squirmed awkwardly. Then seeing her next being swaddled. Her little head with tons of hair, wide-eyed looking around while her brother went back to sleep.

Fast forward 3 months, her hair started to get a little wavy. When she was one, her hair was curly.

By two, she had two distinct curl patterns – loose waves and loose ringlets.

Her hair changed again around age 4 years old.  There was a third hair texture that was kinky around crown.

And it has stayed that way.

So, it has been interesting working with not one, but three different hair textures. I have learned some things along the way such as not washing her hair as often. I did not make the mistake of washing everyday, but every other day or so. Now, I wait at least a week and if she is swimming (which can be often in the summer).  I moved from shampooing to co-washing hair more often (unless swimming, I shampoo and condition).  I did not start trimming her hair until 5 years old. Since all the hair textures are growing differently at different times, I did not understand when to trim. Finding the right stylist is everything without overpaying!

I started sectioning her hair when we shampoo & condition or co-wash. I went from 2 sections (part down the middle), to 4 sections, back to 2 sections (separating the kinky hair from the less wavy hair). The section has helped tons. In addition, I am trying to two different conditioners with two different sections because of the different hair types. A friend told me a former hairstylist did this (in addition to shampoos too, but I have not done that yet.) I also section this way when I am styling her hair after it is washed.

Lessons she’s learning. My daughter loves cuddle with a blanket and watch her Ipad. Oh, the fuzzy blanket over head that creates lint and tangles. In the end, we both aren’t happy when comes to combing through  her after the fact. She’s slowly learning that lesson. Listening that carpet and other materials aren’t always good for her hair.

Here are the things, I still struggle with.

1. Tangles and knots. I am not sure if these will ever cease if I am being honest. It’s just how her hair is. I do her hair just about every morning and there is always a tangle or knot to comb or finger comb through.

2. Finding products that moisturize her thicker and kinky hair. It’s the driest section of her hair and hair needs moisture. I currently use the LOC method on her hair (leave-in conditioner, oil and cream) after I wash her hair. After the first day, the moisture is gone. We’ve tried coconut oil, but I feel that it too heavy and sits on her hair for awhile. I started using this conditioner on this section of her hair. So, we shall see. I am also thinking of switch the cream in the LOC method to Camille Rose moisture butter.

3. Finding a good detangling brush. I have a great detangler. On her edges I use a soft bristle boar brush. The wet detangler brush that is popular is a no go for her hair (though I have seen different versions and wonder if I have the wrong one). Maybe I will never find one. So, I stick to using wide tooth comb, finger detangling and using the bristled brush sparingly.

Though I struggle with my daughter’s biracial hair. It suits her. It’s beautiful. It only been straighten twice in her life because I love her curls. She should embrace the beautiful hair she has. I don’t want her to envy any one’s hair but hers.  Plus, I want to be able to help her once the right passage comes and it’s time for her to start doing her own hair. So, I take on this struggle proudly as her mom which really somehow feel is a blessing in someway.